The bluffer’s guide to getting by in life

2:32pm Monday 14th July 2008

Helen Mead column: Watching Jonathan Ross recently, my husband was thrilled to see the British actor Adrian Lester confess to not having the slightest interest in sport.

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My husband’s love for his second home

12:23pm Monday 7th July 2008

Helen Mead column: I haven’t told my husband because I don’t want him to get too excited, but today sees the start of National Shed Week.

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I’m just lost for words at this sheer stupidity

9:15am Monday 23rd June 2008

Helen Mead column: I lost my glasses the other day. Or I should say, misplaced, as this would be more in keeping with the definition in my dictionary.

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Our lives are being turned inside out...

10:14am Monday 9th June 2008

Helen Mead column: Question: When is a garden not a garden? Answer: When it’s a kitchen.

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I could go back to my first job in newspapers

1:42pm Monday 2nd June 2008

Helen Mead column: MY first job was a paper round. It was really my brother’s paper round but quite often he couldn’t be bothered so I lent a hand.

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Don’t let life wipe the smile off your face

2:36pm Tuesday 27th May 2008

Helen Mead column: When I asked a colleague why he was grinning from ear to ear, he replied: 'More people should smile.’

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It’s just no fun when holding a children’s party

9:50am Monday 19th May 2008

Helen Mead column: PIN the tail on the donkey? No. Musical chairs? No. What games do you play at a party for a bunch of 12 year olds?

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The art of seduction is big business

12:35pm Tuesday 6th May 2008

Helen Mead column: MANY of the e-mails sent to me at work are meaningless twaddle. But I was intrigued this week by one entitled 'New survey reveals Most Seductive Woman of All Time’.

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Everywhere you go, you’re taking a risk

9:19am Monday 28th April 2008

Helen Mead column: I almost decided to stay at home today and call in sick.

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Turn off my TV? Not on your telly nelly!

11:12am Monday 21st April 2008

Helen Mead column: As International TV Turnoff Week kicks off, I’m coming out in a cold sweat.

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Come and stay with me Mariah, you’ll love it

1:40pm Monday 14th April 2008

Helen Mead column: I heard that on a promotional visit to the UK, Mariah Carey's dog needs a chauffeur, she needs an assistant to hold her drinks, sleeps with 20 humidifiers around her bed to maintain rainforest levels of humidity, and wants a gym to work out in.

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I can’t keep up with Posh, Kate and Sienna

10:24am Monday 7th April 2008

Helen Mead column: I’ve lately taken to wondering how I can change my hum-drum existence.

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Tampering with time is bringing havoc to my life

11:41am Monday 31st March 2008

Helen Mead column: Don’t you just hate waking up to British Summer Time? One less hour in bed, more daylight to pack with more activities, more expense, more stress all round.

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My first aider husband may be the casualty

12:50pm Monday 24th March 2008

Helen Mead column: My husband casually mentioned how he had put his name down to train as a first aid representative at work.

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You’re barmy if you call a bread bun a teacake

10:54am Monday 17th March 2008

Helen Mead column: For a moment I thought I was going mad. “What’s a bread bun?” asked one of my colleagues, who was joined by another bread bun sceptic.

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Grebs, emos and chavs are just tip of iceberg

11:21am Monday 10th March 2008

Helen Mead column: For a moment I thought I had Vicky Pollard in the back of my car.

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Cat got your tongue? Yes it really had

9:43am Monday 3rd March 2008

Helen Mead column: My husband said it was one of the best weekends ever. Funny that, considering he didn’t leave the house.

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Here’s my proposal for February 29

11:18am Monday 25th February 2008

Helen Mead column: If you’re still waiting for your boyfriend to pop the question, wait no longer.

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Clean-out has left me feeling good inside!

2:39pm Monday 18th February 2008

Helen Mead column: So there I was, lying on my side on a hospital bed, in such utter discomfort, trying to conceal the embarrassment of what was taking place.

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Valentine’s Day lingerie tips are a load of pants

12:40pm Monday 11th February 2008

Helen Mead column: Here we go again – if I were male I’d be screaming at the barrage of patronising advice that fills newspaper columns in the run up to Valentine’s Day.

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I’m keeping mum about sex education

9:14am Monday 4th February 2008

Helen Mead column: As far as I know, neither of my children have been shown how to put a condom on a cucumber.

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Cleaning frenzy opened a real can of worms

11:14am Monday 28th January 2008

Helen Mead column: Seeing others doing something useful can be very motivating. Take the Government’s hospital deep clean programme.

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Home-made hooch is not so straightforward

9:41am Monday 21st January 2008

Helen Mead column: Some things in life are a real let down. And this time, I’m not talking about my husband.

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Bigger heating bills bring cold comfort

9:27am Monday 14th January 2008

Helen Mead column: Where are all those irritating cold callers when you need them?

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It may be a bargain but ask yourself, do you really need it?

10:25am Monday 7th January 2008

Helen Mead column: For many people, the sales are to January what holidays are to August.

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I DO need to drive home, have a cuppa and watch telly

9:13am Monday 17th December 2007

Helen Mead column: Separation anxiety. I don’t know about you, but if someone hurled that phrase in my direction I would associate it with relationships – the kind that goes on between two human beings. How wrong can you be.

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Buy gift vouchers and let others brave the queues

9:45am Monday 3rd December 2007

PANICKING over presents?' Normally, I would hurl a press release which began with those words in the bin.

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Do I look like someone with time on their hands?

11:30am Monday 26th November 2007

Someone approached me in the supermarket the other day.

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Mother knows best. . but she doesn’t really

11:04am Monday 19th November 2007

Helen Mead column: It just goes to show – even the most intelligent among the world’s population can be wrong sometimes.

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I wonder whether someone REALLY IS watching me

9:17am Monday 12th November 2007

MY car insurance is due this month and, as usual, I've been bombarded with letters from companies inviting me to sign up with them.

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