Bigger heating bills bring cold comfort

9:27am Monday 14th January 2008

Comments (0)   Have your say »

Where are all those irritating cold callers when you need them?

There was a time barely a day went by when our home was not plagued by people trying to persuade us to switch to a different gas and electricity supplier.

Yet now, when the company we are unfortunate enough to be with, decides to put prices up from expensive to totally unaffordable, we have been abandoned.

Not one power company has bothered to take advantage of a dead cert in the energy supplier swap market by visiting our freezing cold home.

So, until I can get around to working out our fuel consumption and checking out other options on internet sites - I imagine it's very complicated and too much for a technophobe like me who still pays bills over the counter - I've been forced to come up with a few energy-saving measures.

These, I have decided to pass on, because I know there are many thousands if not millions of people out there who are also at risk of perishing through fear of turning on the central heating, and who will be discovered only in spring when the first warm rays of sun melt the five-inch thick block of ice that has formed around them.

To prevent this from happening, I suggest the following:

• Pop out to the sales and grab a few cut-price anoraks - not just any anorak, those thickly padded ones from mountaineering shops, the ones you'd take on a trip up K2. You and your family will soon get used to wearing them around the house. Invest in a couple of spares incase you have friends over for dinner.

• Limit the number of baths you and the children take to one every quarter. You could use the change in seasons to remind you when a bath is due or, alternatively, use your quarterly energy bill. When this arrives, drown your sorrows with a long soak and glass of wine (cherryade for the little ones, of course). If this appears too much of a challenge, think back to the drought of 1996 when one water company boss didn't bathe for three months to save supplies. And that was in a heatwave.

• Make maximum use of other people's facilities - these could include showers in public swimming baths and health clubs. And encourage your children to make use of friends' baths at sleepovers. You could also pretend your boiler has blown up and take advantage of friends' offers of help.

• Eat more salads. What says we HAVE to eat salads only in summer? As far as I know there's no legislation stating we can't enjoy them in winter too. Salads are also healthy. Stodgy hot stews will not only send your gas or electricity bill rocketing, but your cholesterol levels too.

• Take up a regular fitness regime. Join a gym - the hours you spend there will save on heating your home, and they have hot showers. If you're not into gyms, try jogging. A quick jaunt around the block will warm you up.

As they say, every cloud has a silver lining.

When I first heard about npower's whopping great price increases, I cursed them, but I believe the lifestyle changes outlined above will lead to a healthier, wealthier, more satisfying existence.

I think all its customers should say a big, warm thank-you.