HAVING sat through another Saturday night of Graham Norton, I've finally worked out what it is about Any Dream Will Do that has so captured the public's imagination.

It's not all those pretty boys singing songs, it's not because there's a lot of blubbing going on (which shows how human they really are).

Oh no!

It's quite simply because it's the cruellest show on TV.

No wonder the glorified pantomime on ITV doesn't stand a look in - the Beeb's search for Joseph is to weekend viewing what Madame Le Guillotine was to French knitters.

Not since the days when Jim Bowen would proclaim cheerily "Now let's look at what you would have won" to a clearly despondent Bullseye contestant has a TV show been so cruel.

There's the poor loser, having been told he's not good enough and rejected by both the public and Andrew Lloyd-Webber, being forced to sing his last song while being surrounded by his fellow competitions who are secretly relieved it's not then.

And then, just to twist the knife, they strip the coat from his back.

It's a wonder someone hasn't approached a solicitor and put in a claim for ritual humiliation.

Still it does make great TV even if we are being served as the panda-eyed Denise Van Outen so accurately put it "a large plate of cheese".

By the way Lee will win, I'm sure of it..